***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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