Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
And then he peed in my hair
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize