I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I want to make a zoo with you.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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