Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
