Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
