Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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