hotel room ftw
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
