My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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