My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
