In the future we'll all be gay
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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