Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
