it was like his penis was on wheels.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
