Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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