I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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