Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
