I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Less talking, more tequila
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
