we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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