hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I feel like a drive thru vagina
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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