Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
