I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
