the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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