She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
