Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
