Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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