I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
there is glitter all over my balls
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