would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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