Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there was a trapeze. enough said
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
