The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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