It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
