please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
