Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
