Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
