we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
