dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
