Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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