Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize