Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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