Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Randomize
