I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
