Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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