i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
