I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
