I didn't shave. On purpose
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
