he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
