Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
