Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
