Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
