The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
