At least make sure they are 18
Why
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
