I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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