i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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