508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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