Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
