If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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