Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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