AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize