a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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