I would go down on you faster than GM stock
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
