No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
