Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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