If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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