i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
