Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
