I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
